Breakthrough?

I feel like it's okay to complain about being unemployed as long as you're detached about it. Everyone needs to blow off steam once in a while. Students bitch about how much homework they have; people in the workforce spend Friday nights drinking beer and trading bad-boss stories. It's natural. Likewise, I can tell a story about how I've followed up on my Tom-Thumb-Starbucks-kiosk application six times and have yet to meet the hiring manager, and as long as it's a funny story, no harm no foul. But when I start getting bent out of shape about it — when a student really gets pissed that he has to do all this goddamn studying, or when an employee genuinely resents having to show up at 9:00 every morning — that's a line that's hard to drift back across.

I'm getting bitter. I'm becoming a person that I don't necessarily like. In college, I finally came into my own as a person - I developed this persona of quiet, laid-back confidence. And even if it was an act sometimes, I liked being that guy. My friends liked that guy. Even a couple girls liked that guy. But now, being home, not having anyone to talk to or hang out with, not having anything to do or anywhere to go all day, I'm just getting...bitter.

I don't know how to come back from it. I'm trying to find ways to stay positive, but no dice so far. I'm afraid that I might be pushing away the friends that I do have - I've been very negative lately, and not in the I'm-just-having-a-bad-day way. I feel like I'm a downer to be around and to talk to. And seeing how I'm trying to make friends around here, that's not necessarily the best way to go about it.