Independence

I didn't realize how much I've gotten used to doing stuff on my own until moving back home. I had my own room in the dorms last year, from August to May, and that was fun, if a tad lonely at times. Mostly on weeknights and during the daytime on weekends. Lots of reading, lots of sudoku, lots of Facebook. Too much Facebook, probably. It was the same this summer. I lived with Sean, Joe, and Pad, but Joe and Pad worked all day and I worked at night, so we didn't cross paths as often as you'd think. Besides, whenever we were all in the apartment, we all just kind of let each other be. We all kinda did our own thing, sleep-wise, entertainment-wise, food-wise. We didn't force our presences on each other too often, if that makes sense.

I'm kind of used to being left alone, as sad as that sounds. I don't mind spending a Wednesday night making headway in a good book or a Friday night going to a movie by myself (like I did last Friday - (500) Days of Summer was phenomenal). If I end up hanging out with other people along the way, that's great, but I've stopped believing that that's what I have to do to be happy. It's too much effort, making plans night after night after night just to avoid being alone. Or maybe I've just gotten used to it after years of practice.

But being home, I can't do my own thing like I'm used to. I've gotten accustomed to never being bothered, so when I get interrupted every ten minutes to 'come look at this thoughtful newspaper article' or 'meet the new neighbor's fiance,' it just grates on me after a while. I know that part of coming home is having every aspect of your life called into question ("Do you always sleep this late?"), but it's such a 180 from the past year of my life that I feel on edge all the time. They seem to just want me to be there, to hang around downstairs and be around them. And I know they're my parents, and they love me, and I love them, and all that, but I'm a creature of solitude. It's less stressful.

Meh, whatever. I'm leaving a week from tomorrow. I can power through till then.