The Middle

If there’s one song that pretty much everyone from my generation knows, it’s Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle.” It got a lot of radio play when it first came out, and I’ll still hear it every once in a while, but more than that, it’s one of those pick-me-p songs that I can’t help but be in a good mood after listening to it. I’ve heard that song more times than I care to count, but it never gets old. I was listening to it tonight, and I started thinking about how some really great moments of my life have had that song playing in the background. I’m not gonna launch into a greatest hits, listing off the best moments I’ve ever had in my entire life, but these are some definite moments where I sat back for a second, looked around, and consciously thought, “Huh…this is kind of cool.”

Summer 2002, I went to a summer camp in Colorado called Camp Cheley. I stayed in the Haiyaha unit, which was for guys ages 14-17. We all got to be pretty close because we knew not to step on each others’ toes – we were all living together in pretty close quarters for about a month, so making enemies wasn’t the best idea. In the last week, my cabin was assigned bathouse duty, just normal stuff, sweeping, rinsing out the showers, etc. Someone had a stereo, and he started playing DJ as we went to work. He picked out a couple of his personal favorites, stuff that a few people knew, but then “The Middle” came on. Everyone perked up – I can’t explain it. By that point, we were all in the typical summer camp “I love everyone!” mindset, so that didn’t hurt. We all started singing along (everyone knew the words, of course) and playing guitars on our brooms. In that moment, we were all united. Common task that no one really wanted to do, singing the same song, with a big circle of friends. Male bonding at its finest.

Summer 2005, again at a summer camp, this time YMCA Camp Grady Spruce in Possum Kingdom. It was the last Saturday of camp, the last batch of campers had left that morning, so it was just the counselors in the dining hall for lunch that afternoon. Same situation as with Cheley – we’d all been with each other all summer, making it a point to legitimately make friends and include everyone. I plugged my iPod into the giant stereo system and started blasting the first thing I found as loud as I could. As we ate, people would get up and select the next song. Sure enough, someone put on “The Middle.” We were done eating by that point, so we were just milling around, avoiding the last bits of work we had to do before we could go home. We were all really excited and energized already – the fucking kids were gone, our job was all but done, and we could finally just chill and all be together for the last time. There wasn’t too much of a reaction to the song beyond a general nod of approval and a couple grins, but nothing else was really needed. That lunch, in the last couple days of July, was the first time that we had been able to hang out as a group without anything to do since the first group of campers came in May. Can’t really describe the feeling that we all had, looking around at each other, satisfied knowing that our work was finally (!) done. All we had was sandwiches and chips, but that was one of the best lunches I’d had in a long time.

And then we come to tonight. This one’s a bit more subdued, a bit more random than the others. We were sitting in the Blobby (the Blanton lobby), just like every other night, doing homework but not really doing homework, just like every other night, making fun of each other, just like every other night, etc. Jackie put on “The Middle,” and again, there was that general consensus that you just can’t not like this song (think about it). I looked around at everyone sitting there, there were probably ten people in all, and I was struck with this feeling of contentment. Not happiness, which can be pretty fleeting when something else comes along to hit you in the face, but contentment. Not only did I know everyone’s name, which is rarer than I’d like to admit, but I’ve had extensive conversations with everyone that was sitting there. I was comfortable, I fit in, I belonged. Everyone in that circle, I felt like I could randomly call on a weekday afternoon to see if they wanted to grab lunch or coffee, just for the hell of it. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in the past few weeks, long story there, so it was kind of nice to realize that I still have this group that I see, talk to, and laugh with pretty much every day. A more subdued kind of contentment than the other examples, yes, but contentment nonetheless. Every once in a while, it’s the little things that get to you.