Nicknames

I’m taking a break (i.e. procrastinating) from my philosophy paper, but I’m still in a writing mood, so I thought I’d ramble on here for a while. For no reason at all, the topic of nicknames came to mind. Someone’s real name doesn’t matter that much beyond it being the main method of identification (if my name’s Matt or Will or John, it doesn’t change who I am at all), but a nickname can define someone as a certain personality type or even prod them to act in certain ways. I think that a nickname’s a very important part of someone’s identity – if it catches on, it sticks with you for quite a while. Most people know that you can’t give yourself a nickname. Someone has to come up with one, and it has to fit the person to be common enough for everyday use. I’ve had my fair share of nicknames, some good, some bad.

FRODO – this came about during my first few years at Cistercian. I was one of the shorter kids in the class, and I had what I like to consider an affably eccentric personality. This was before the years of tests, papers, and teenage hormones killed my spirit. A big staple of Cistercian is that sixth grade English consists pretty much solely of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. When it came to Tolkien, everyone at Cistercian knew their shit, whether they wanted to or not. A guy in the class above me (either Nick Christensen or Mason Reeves, can’t remember) nicknamed me Frodo because of my height, and for whatever reason, it stuck. Everyone at CPS, even the high schoolers who normally wouldn’t bother to look in my direction, knew me as Frodo. Between classes, at football games, whatever, I’d hear someone shout “Hey, Frodo!” and turn to see someone sprinting from the other side of the hallway to say hey. It was a term of endearment more than anything else. I eventually grew out of it as our class stopped being the low men on the totem pole, but I wonder how many CPS graduates from the classes of ’99, ’00, ’01 occasionally think, “Whatever happened to that Frodo kid?”

JONESY – not too much of a story here. My high school nickname. My last name’s Jones, so it’s only fitting. I just want to say, though, that during junior and senior year, I’d guess that a good portion of people I hung out with on a daily basis didn’t know my first name.

SHEETS – ah, yes, the fucking infamous Sheets story. It’s ubiquitous in Austin and it’s apparently even spread back to Dallas and all over the country with various high school friends of mine who’ve gone on to college. I’m not gonna tell the whole story for privacy reasons, as there may or may not have been certain illegal activities involved, but suffice it to say that this one stuck in a big way. During my freshman year of college, pretty much everyone in the Quad knew me only as Sheets, due in no small part to Mr. David Zummo and Mr. Saul Elbein. The nickname isn’t as common this year as it was last year, but it’s something that I’m pretty sure I’ll never live down completely. I compare being Sheets to being Michael Bolton from Office Space – everyone has a joke to make, and not one of them is original (or funny).

KIDDO – this one’s used exclusively by the Broccoli Project, the Plan II theater group that I’m in. My friend Brandan calls someone “kiddo” when she can’t remember his real name, so that’s how it started, but even when she finally learned it, she kept calling me Kiddo because she said it fit. Fair enough. A nickname’s a great way to know you belong to a group, and that’s what happened with Broccoli. When I meet people at auditions or shows, I don’t even bother introducing myself as Matt. I just hold out my hand and go, “Hey, I’m Kiddo, nice to meet you,” and everyone around me who knows me nods in approval. They’d correct me immediately if I said anything else. This one’s still going strong, and I don’t see it dying out in the foreseeable future, at least with this crowd.

Just something I was thinking about while I was sitting outside. Even if it’s completely pointless, it’s fun to write stuff like this for posterity. Twenty years from now, I’ll be flipping around on my computer (or whatever the equivalent is by then), find this, and think, “Holy shit, I completely forgot about the whole Frodo thing.” Good times, good times.